47 thoughts on “March 14, 2018

  1. 1) I think Sabrina may fit into Delman’s just fine.
    2) If that’s the attitude of management, Cooper’s going to have fun with the remaining floor staff.

    • What remaining floor staff? I have the sneaking suspicion Cooper will be All.Alone.At.The.Store.
      As is absolutely *nobofy* else being there. He’ll have to do all the work by himself, or spend the entire stipend on temp help, as there is no budget left.

      Let’s see if I called it. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • I think you’re on the right track there. The store is going to be chaos. Cooper’s going to work 80 hours and disappear completely on Marla, Stuart’s going to be overwhelmed and completely useless. With any other human being it would be a bonding experience but one does not bond with zucchini so Stuart will simply log it all as Cooper’s personal failure.

      • I’m sure Cooper will come up with some innovative solutions that will have Stuart blowing a gasket. But Stuart won’t be able to do anything about it because this particular store will be pulling in more profits than any of the other stores, including those that aren’t closing.

  2. Nice to see “At Will” being used against the higher ups for once. Normally, they want two weeks notice when we leave, but they can kick us out at the drop of a hat if they want us fired.

    • I once worked at a coffee shop and after my manager sexually harassed me and cut my hours when I turned him down I decided to put in my two weeks notice. He told me that I was just overreacting and actually put me on the schedule after the two weeks. He was genuinely surprised that I didn’t come back.

  3. My Manager once told me that yeah they want two weeks notice but don’t expect to work the two weeks. That they’ll only work you part of it and then just let you go that way you can’t sneakily sabotage or steal from them on your way out.

    • That is why managers let people go immediately. There’s always a danger of sabotage, and frankly, theft is a given.

      (I accidentally typed “heft” – but if it’s related to “heist” it would be OK anyway.)

    • My dad told me once that in his line of work, if you quit, it’s effective immediately. Because what they do is sensitive and they can’t risk sabotage. Of course, everyone knew that so 2 weeks notice was only technically a thing.

      • Working at a hospital its the opposite. If you give your two weeks, we still need you for two weeks. We have enough trouble keeping qualified staff on the floor.

        • That’s the bummer about the healthcare field. The well-qualified leave for greener pastures, leaving the indifferent, the bored, the slackers – and, worse, *management*. That being said, I can’t *find* a job in healthcare right now despite being well qualified with 7+ years’ experience…

          • I work in IT – a prime role for “garden leave” you’d think but when I got made redundant from a company and asked about it I got told “No, there’s no way we can do that – there’s too much work to be done…”
            So why the hell you making half your staff redundant if there’s too much work to even protect yourself against potential sabotage?

  4. Loyalty goes both ways, Stuart. Let’s see how loyal YOU’D be if your beloved Grumbel’s decides to let you go. As has been pointed out in the comments already, you’re lucky Sabrina gave you any notice at all. It’s more than *I* would have done in her place. And you’d need scuba gear to get your keys.

    • Ha! Yes! I’d do the same! Although I think they can send the police after you or sue if you do something vindictive like that. ๐Ÿ™

    • Managers and execs want the employee loyalty of yesteryear without having to provide the job security of yesteryear. Somehow they’re always surprised when the employees don’t cooperate.

  5. I am wondering how many non-Marla’s store employees Cooper will have to work with. I also wonder if Cooper will suddenly find himself having to deal with a bunch of employees who goof off just like he did (and still does sometimes) and what he will do about it.

    • The thing is that Coop goofed off AND got his work done. A lot of retail employees are like that, really. The job is so mind-numbing that you have to find ways to stay sane. It’s just there are very few positions where you’re given a set of exact tasks that need done without something else needing done afterword. Once you’ve already done what you were paid to do, there’s no guilt or shame in doing something fun.

      Except management inevitably feels the reward for efficiency is more work for the same pay. “Hard work is its own reward” being misinterpreted in the worst manner.

  6. Memo to Stuart from Corporate: According to our policy and procedures manual Section 29, Subsection 167, paragraph 3, “Upon the termination or resignation of a store manager (like Sabrina), the District Manager will without fail be personally present to get the keys, secure the office, and arrange for the exterior locks to be changed within 24 hours. Failure to do so will result in disciplinary action.”

    Stuart, please come by the corporate office as soon as you get Cooper started.

  7. Here’s a question: Why didn’t Stuart just get the keys from her after closing last night? If you want someone to do something in a timely matter, maybe get them to do it while they still actually work for you. (Even better would be treating your employees decently in the first place so this wouldn’t be a problem.)

    I get that sometimes stuff happens but I suspect that in this case the stuff that happened is that Stuart either 1) didn’t feel like it and/or 2) really just wanted an excuse to make Cooper stand around waiting this morning.

    • having a manager with the keys after they quit/get fired is insane from a security standpoint. I am sure the key is marked “do not duplicate” on it but all you need is a place that will ignore that and copy it regardless for a little extra cash. Unless you call the locksmith in on day 1 of the handover they can break in and cause havoc.

  8. This is too relevant. All my friends that work at Toys R Us are going to be out of a job at the end of this week ๐Ÿ™

    • Certain states have little to no job security, you can be fired without warning or cause at will. In fact I have heard that in some cases them giving a reason can open employers up to lawsuits so they often don’t give a reason even if they have one.

      • Where I worked (until my job was outsourced!) was a union environment, and they often didn’t give a reason for firing either, because then the union might have been able to fight the reason for dismissal. If someone was fired during their probationary period, management didn’t give a reason. And if you were fired “for cause” they were very, very careful how they worded everything.

    • It means that you can be hired, quirt or be fired at any time. In theory the flexibility it creates makes life easier for everyone but 99.99% of the time it used to fire someone with little or no notice.

      • Well, technically, you can do that anyway (13th Amendment) as long as you didn’t sign a contract. The Ask A Manager column gets the occasional letter on the lines of “my manager won’t let me quit”, and AAM has to gently explain to the poor brainwashed thing that actually, yes, you can quit, and no, your boss CAN’T “not accept” your resignation. You are not indentured.

  9. It will be interesting how Norm plays this story arc. I’m hoping this will be somewhat of an awakening for Cooper, now that he has to manage people just like he used to be. I foresee many phone calls to Marla – “help!”

    Or perhaps his management skills will be awoken and he will be able to deal with the staff because he WAS one of them.

    Time will tell. In any case, I’m enjoying this storyline.

    • I would’ve expected somewhere closer to two hours before closing, personally. The ultimate “Screw You” to a store that was letting you go.

  10. Prediction: Cooper does an amazing job, gets no recognition from Stuart.

    Meanwhile, Crystal, who has barely been used in this strip, gives her two week notice. Marla suggest Cooper as Assistant Manager, seeing as he did a great job with the closing store, and Stuart finds a reason to say no.

    • You have predicted the next 2 weeks of comics, I’m sure of it. If only we could get it all done today ๐Ÿ™‚

      Also, Stuart is turning into Frank Burns, and what happened to Frank needs to happen to him, he needs to GTFO because literally everyone else is developing except for him

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