21 thoughts on “March 28, 2017

  1. Please can I just buy it over the phone quick? *Rolls up a $20 bill and starts jamming it into the handset microphone*

    What is wrong with people like this? The website never closes, and with rare exceptions the store and all of its merchandise will still exist in the morning.

  2. Maybe he/she knows something we and Marla don’t. Maybe it’s a “have a towel – will hitchhike the Galaxy” kind of situtation.

    • Honestly… if it was that kind of situation, where I knew the world was gonna end, and I could just hitchhike out, I would warn as many people as I could, and then just break into the store and steal whatever I need. If the world is gonna end, who cares about the damage/shrink right?

  3. In all these cases my answer is the same
    Lack of planning on your side does not constitute an emergency on my side

    • However, if you say that out loud to most customers (and clients for other businesses), you’ll get a nasty call from corporate about your rudeness to a customer *in* the store.

    • Then you have to hear the banging on the door and then the complaint that to Stuart that a customer was told to come to the store and were not allowed in. Stuart would be annoyed that you didn’t allow them in since it means a sale.

      I wouldn’t post this unless I had heard this BS from a District manager.

  4. Oh gee. Obviously the caller doesn’t understand that
    1) the doors are locked and by the time he/she/it arrives, not only will there be nobody in the store, but there will also be nobody in the Mall and all the entry doors will be locked
    2) all the cash registers have been shut down. Getting them back up and running is more complicated than customers demanding to be let in after closing understand. For one thing, the cash drawers are all locked, the contents already deposited in the nearest bank, or, if the money is still in the store, it’s locked in a safe.
    3) assuming Marla can get the customer into the store, starting up a cash register again is against store policy and where is she supposed to put the money? After hours transactions just piss off whoever does the accounting.
    4) letting customers in after hours is also against Mall policy. It puts stores in the Mall at risk of a break-in. Marla doesn’t know that customer and she would be alone in the Mall and virtually alone in the Mall if she let he/she/it in. Not safe.
    If the customer’s situation is that desperate, the customer can go to Walmart. It’s open 24/7. Walmart may be full of weird people in the middle of the night, but why should that be Marla’s problem.

    • The person could be buying with a card, but yeah.

      However, no Walmarts anywhere near me are open 24/7. Even during the holidays. One close by tried and the city said no.

    • Because some manglers are of the opinion that “good customer service” means ALWAYS answering the phone when you’re in the store, regardless of whether you’re open or not. What if the customer just has a quick question (maybe about a price)? Now you’ve made the customer happy and they’ll surely come in tomorrow to buy the product (instead of buying it immediately online for cheaper).

        • When I worked retail, after hours we would answer the phone ” security”. Let us stop the customers quickly while still allowing us to address other inquiries.

          • Yep, that’s what we did too. Had forgotten about it from 30+ years ago when I last had to answer the phone “LaBelle’s Security” if we weren’t open yet.

    • At a chain I use to work for, right at closing time, the phone system would go to a recording about the store being closed and where the nearest 24hr store was.

  5. I worked at a hardware store when I was in high school, which had an answering machine (an actual answering machine with the cassette tape in it, this was the early 90’s, and this was an independent store, so no digital voicemail or after hours CS service) that would be turned on once the store was closed or when we left for the day.

    It had the standard sort of message, something like: “Thank You for calling Hometown Hardware Store. We are closed right now, but our hours are from 8 am to 9 pm. Thank you for your call, and we hope to help you soon!”, and then the beep because this was just a standard machine and we couldn’t figure out/be bothered to make it playback only.

    Invariably we’d have messages that went something like this: “Hey, my water heater’s just sprung a massive leak and I need to get it fixed right now! Do you have them in stock? I’ll be there in like ten minutes to pick one up!” or some other emergency. The whole “We’re closed right now” part would just be ignored.

    And I think they only got the machine because before that the phones would just ring and ring and people complained about that!

  6. “Unless you can travel 88 miles per hour and your flux capacitor is up to spec, we cannot open the whole store because you planned poorly.”

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