30 thoughts on “September 29, 2015

  1. I don’t dare show him my cutter then, his pea brain my implode when it’s opened. Reason is, it’s also got a small, 4″ sportsman’s knife built into it along with being a box cutter….it’s even accidentally been modded so both blades can be out at the same time!

  2. I read an article earlier today about how some teens and young adults are basically helpless out in the real world (e.g. calling 911 because someone saw a mouse in their apartment). I’m embarrassed to be a member of this generation.

    • It’s not just your generation. As near as I can tell, the term “airhead” was coined in my generation, and the concept shows up in stories from… mmm… I think the earliest I’ve seen would be the 1920s (P.G. Wodehouse’s works), but I’m sure it goes back through the history of time.

    • Thank the helicopter parents who bought into all the media “everything in the world is super-dangerous” hysteria, and managed to produce offspring so over-sheltered that they’re totally helpless babies even into “adulthood”.

    • First “Google” as a sound effect, now “SNICK.” What’s next, “Yelp” in regards to the review site or something? I love the originality Norm keeps delivering 🙂

    • Erm… ‘snick’ has been used as a sound effect for ages. I’ve never heard of that show, but… yeah. Probably not a reference, dude.

  3. It’s no wonder he doesn’t know how a box cutter works. He can’t see anything! I’m guessing he’s Donnie’s younger brother. He’s trying to outdo his brother by totally covering his eyes instead of just one eye.

  4. A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line Husqvarna. The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY! The salesman takes the chain saw and fires it up to see what’s wrong.

    The farmer, startled, says: “What’s that noise?”

  5. Explain to him how the garbage compactor is actually a gateway to a black hole, and when it gets backed up it means the black hole is full and corp. needs to locate a new one.

    • at my work (at least my usual store. I am temp transferred) no one presses the button to compact the cardboard. or, if they do, they don’t check that it worked. people over load it and there’s so much cardboard above the compacting part. GAH.

  6. I rather distinctly recall both my last retail jobs assuming that NO ONE could possibly know how a box cutter functions. Thus mandating a 40 minute training video on it.

    • it’s ok. my job assumes that everyone is an idiot and a thief. everything is idiot proofed, so even someone with a few days training could ring someone up or go through a return. but they also assume every associate (including managers) are pieces of shit who steal. so we have to go through a lot to buy anything, process discards, or even leave the store.

    • The last time I worked in a warehouse, management assumed we were all too stupid to manage a box cutter safely. So they gave us these weird round “safety” cutters that didn’t work. The job involved cutting the plastic shrink wrap off pallets of goods – you kinda needed a knife. People actually smuggled their own working cutters in.

  7. Fancy locking blades…. At my job they only had those cheap Jiffy Cutters that were really good at opening in your pocket and cutting you when you reached for them. I used to hit them on the side with a hammer so they’d keep snug and not do that.

    • my store has these ugly yellow things. there’s a guard to keep you from cutting the crap out of yourself. but you can easily see where the blades are.
      but the company doesn’t replace them. so they barely cut packing tape.
      so I bring a knife for stuff I know will be hard to cut.
      but then again, I’m not strictly on freight/shipment/stock. but since it’s a small store, I have to deal with enough shipment stuff to have a knife on freight days.

  8. I’ve started working in a store in my area. outside of the one I spent 7 years in.
    the store manager is on medical leave.
    some of the associates don’t understand basic concepts the ones at my home store do.
    granted, it’s nothing major. but, like, simple enough to where I’m like “we over that in the first month of work…”

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